And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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