Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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