What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
