this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize