i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
