Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
