i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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