A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
