whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
