My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
