I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
