Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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