I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
