I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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