i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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