Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
