Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
