What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
