you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
