i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
