just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
