then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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