Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
