escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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