Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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