let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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