wat bout pragnant strippers??
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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