I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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