are you still at the devil's house?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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