doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
