did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
