Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Randomize
