My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
