Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
