Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
