I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
