dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
