dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
