Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
