you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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