Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
