Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
