You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
