I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
