It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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