I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
