if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
did i walk over a car last night?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
