I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
