Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
