Say something about gay babies.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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